Love/enough - letters to self

As a boy I dreamed of space travel. I wanted to visit other stars.
Then I wanted to be famous scientist, to make great discoveries.
Then I grew up.
Loved.
Had Kids.
Separated.

I ended up just earning money.
For quite some time I believed "that's my purpose in life". To make money?!
Yuck.

I found love. Again. I have forgotten it exists at all. It changed me. Now again, grown up, and more intent.
I found out that the simplest things are most gratifying to me.
I didn't need to do great scientific discoveries.
I was happy to discover the smile of my love every morning.
I was happy to fall in love - every day!
I found out - my purpose in life is to love. To give. To share. To belong.

This somehow have completed my set of core values. Have completed me.

I have my kids. They are perfect, and my love to them - eternal. Special. Calm.

Once in a while, in our short lives we are sometimes happy to encounter that very person, who is perfect to us. Perfect to us does not mean perfect per se. He or she is just perfect to us.


I found out that feeling a connection, being part of a relationship is like nothing else.

Talking like that about love is emotionally engaging. But!  

Is love enough to sustain a relationship?
No.


Even if you go over all the obstacles, make perfect fit of both of you? YOU are still living in a world full of its legacy, open to the environment.
And sometimes, most of times, legacy and environment comes out and hits you. Hard. A kill shot. 


Than it hurts. You go on a kill mission - to kill love. All out mission. And guess what? It comes out bullet proof. Surviving. 


But - what is love?
Is it just a set of processes we trigger in ourselves when we met someone special?

Scientists say so.

"Love" enables flexibility and focus - it is one of the rare game changers.
It rewires our brain, in a way.
Scientists who study neuroplasticity say that brain plasticity is enabled by experiencing change.
Evolutionary, love have came out of the need to fight the basic animal instincts to perceive other fellow animals as a thread. Complimented by the sex drive (or lust), love has evolved to allow us to get focus on the selected partner, reaching physical contact in order to reproduce.
In humans love is the ultimate way to blur one's comfort zone.
Which is an enabler of change.
So being in love is paving the way for changing someone's core values. And almost everything he/she allow.

Anyway - does this simple scientific explanation makes it less brilliant and engaging?
No by me. Not at all.

Does this makes us suffer less when it ends? No.

But it's ok. There is the whole world out there to discover. Back to the kid's dreams?